DAYS 41 – 53

Day 41

Realizing my worst fear

After tonight I have realized my worst fear is that something bad would happen at home and I couldn’t be there for my family. My mom called me at 11 am my time (4am Toronto time) to let me know my sister Sarah was in the ER. She said she needed emergency surgery but wouldn’t elaborate how serious it was and abruptly hung up the line. I couldn’t concentrate at work, and tried to text my parents throughout the day to find out what was happening.

When I got home, I went insane trying to get a hold of them but they weren’t answering my calls or texts. I was beside myself with worry thinking the worse had happened but all I could do was pace in my room wishing there was some way I could teleport myself back home.

She’s the only one left at home. My youngest sister, Christine is travelling for the summer and going to University in Ottawa, and I had also gone away to University. Christine and I both left for our travels at the same time, leaving Sarah who’s been lonely.

Just earlier this week she called me and was crying on the phone, emotional about relationships and didn’t have neither Christine nor I to lean on. I’ve lived a good number of years away from home but home was just a train ride away. Now everything is so far off and out of reach I’m feeling disconnected from everyone and wishing I could just hop on a train and be back in a few hours.

Christine and I were networking from across the globe, messaging back and forth updates on what we had found out. There was nothing else to do but wait for news to arrive. It was a strenuous night, and I was ready to book a flight home when I finally got word that she was going to be ok.

The threat of something bad happening has now made me worried and paranoid at the prospect.


Day 42

Weekend getaway in the country

Jeff, the American I met on the plane sprung an invitation for me to visit him in Morogoro, which is about 200 km inland, east of Dar es Salaam. He’s working in Malaria research for an American biomedical research company and has been travelling with his clinic all over the country.

He’s a really easy-going guy, very funny and charismatic, we clicked right away and became fast friends during the plane ride to Dar. We’ve been emailing back and forth and calling to compare notes about our various encounters with the locals here. This is the first weekend he’s had off to stay in town so he invited me to spend the weekend there and check out the sites.

I rode for 2 ½ hours on a very cramped, hot, smelly bus. It made riding the Greyhound seem so luxurious! The buses are much smaller than the Greyhound coaches, and made to seat 3 people instead of 2 in a row. They have a special deal where you pay half price but have to stand and hang onto the overhead rack the entire way, which a few people did. A round trip ticket costs the equivalent of about $8 Canadian. The same distance from Toronto to Windsor/London would cost over $100 Cdn round trip!

As usual I was the only foreigner on the bus and as soon as I got on, I could hear everyone murmuring and whispering “look an Mchina just got on the bus… look at the Mchina... look there’s an Mchina on the bus!”. I made sure to equip myself with Gravol out of fear my nausea would kick in and took double the dose to knock myself out so I could sleep through the ride.

I left at about 3:30pm, and arrived after 6pm. As soon as I got off the bus I was bombarded with peddlers trying to sell me corn and peanuts, and taxi cab drivers pulling at my arm to try to get me into a taxi. I was already groggy from the double dose of Gravol, and feeling disoriented with the mob that was crowding me. Just when I was about to panic Jeff came to my rescue.

He picked me up in his company’s project car, and drove me to Morogoro hospital. He showed me the lab he’s working out of and it looked like the orgo labs right out of university, and surprisingly pretty well equipped with up-to-date technology. He showed me around other parts of the hospital including the morgue where a lot of young children had just been brought in that day most likely from Malaria. The death toll from Malaria is much higher than AIDS.

He took me to a popular hangout where a lot of expats and foreigners go. When we got there I had the same weird feeling I got when I was at the mall in Dar and it felt like we had temporarily stepped out of Africa. There was a fairly large group from Sweden, a few Brits, one German, a couple Americans and Canadians –a good mix of everything. Ethnically speaking I was the only Asian of the bunch.

When we got to talking with everyone, it was interesting to hear about their “pet cause”. Mine I suppose is HIV/AIDS, Jeff’s is Malaria, there were a few teachers in the group, American Peacecorp volunteers, while others did work ranging from other infectious diseases, to Women’s Rights, to training rats to sniff out landmines. We exchanged business cards at the end of the night and offered whatever support we could lend to each other during our stay.


Day 43

Day II in Morogoro

I actually used a blanket to sleep and woke up shivering in the morning! I’ve gotten so used to Dar es Salaam heat, and didn’t expect to be chilly in Morogoro. I woke up and Jeff already had a pot of coffee brewing. The place he’s staying in is a small house on the Nyombosi University Campus, which is their agricultural university, comparable to Ontario’s Guelph University.

The sun was still rising when we left his place and the site of the mountains as we walked down the path was absolutely breathtaking. Morogoro is enveloped in mountains and the weather is very temperate. I love the fast-paced city life, but walking through the country roads of Morogoro with the beautiful backdrop of mountains was a nice refreshing change of pace from Dar.

He took me to a cute little place in town to have chai and chipate for breakfast and it was the perfect start to the day. We then met with his co-worker Geoff, who is Kenyan and also doing research at Morogoro Hospital. We met up with 2 other friends of Geoff’s, who offered to be our guides for the day. We hiked up one of the smaller mountain peaks hoping to see monkeys and other wildlife but none made an appearance. We did see a lot of weird bugs and huge snails.

An American, Canadian, Kenyan & Tanzanian Maasai

It was noon by the time we got back down so we grabbed a quick bite to eat. The next item on our itinerary was to venture out to the Maasai villages. We headed out in a truck, with two guys riding in the back at full speed along the country roads. We were going as fast as 140km and I impulsively looked out back every now and then to make sure the guys were still there!

An hour later we arrived at a small Maasai village. The guys were awesome as our guides and took our cameras from us to take pictures with so we wouldn’t have to worry about holding them. It seemed a little awkward at first but they insisted it would be better this way, and I think they were having fun with our cameras. They followed Jeff and I, snapping away like paparazzi, as we walked through to browse at the market.

It didn’t take long to attract attention and pretty soon a crowd formed around us. Jeff read my mind when he said out loud “So this is how it feels to be a rock star”. I don’t at all enjoy the attention in Dar cause it’s usually from guys trying to make a pass at you, but with the guys and Jeff by my side, I didn’t feel as self conscious and more secure despite the mob that was forming.

A guy wheeled through a wagon full of coconuts and Jeff got us some. When the guy handed me the coconut, I asked for a straw. He gave me a blank stare.

We bought a few items, which the guys helped us bargain for. We found that if we sent our Tanzanian friends over to the stand to ask for their prices, it suddenly inflated when it was Jeff or I who went next to ask cause they were charging the ‘Mzungu’ price. Jeff and I both bought Kangas which are the African style printed material women here use as either shawls or wrap-around skirts.

We also bought Maasai beads that we later learned are sexual trinkets they use during lovemaking. The women use the beads to attract men, and the men play with them on the woman’s body. It was pretty interesting to hear about their sex practices with these beads and how certain tribes are notorious for being an ‘expert’ user of these beads and using them to please their partner. I’m afraid of wearing mine now thinking it’ll attract the wrong kind of attention from the males here.

Winding down

Later that evening we had dinner at Rock Garden, which is a popular place for locals to go hangout on a Saturday night. You eat out doors and then dance out on the rocks. After the eating and dancing I felt tired and thought for sure we had hit the midnight mark but looked at my watch in bewilderment that it was only 9pm! The guys were still drinking but fortunately Jeff was tiring out too and threw in the towel with me.

We stopped by his lab so he can check up on test tubes, pitri dishes and whatnot while I tinkered on his computer and looked at the pictures we had taken that day. The candid shots the guides took of us were priceless. I don’t think I’ve squeezed so much activity into one day!

Monkey see, Monkey throw

We got back to his place to find there was no running water. While waiting for water to come back on we decided to go outside to see if there were monkeys. Jeff said they usually come out at night to feed on the crops, and sure enough there they were in the trees eating corn with their opposable thumbs just like humans do! They were teething right across the cob like people it was surreal!

We didn’t take pictures afraid the flash would scare them away and tried to remain inconspicuous. They were very conscious of our presence and when they were done decided to make this apparent by throwing the cobs at us!

When we got back to the house there was still no running water and we had to go to bed dirty, it drove me nuts, but Jeff didn’t seem to care. “Suck it up, this is Africa.” He reminded me.


Day 44

Weekend getaway ends

We woke up and there was still no running water. I brushed my teeth and rinsed with what was left of the water in my bottle and got dressed. We walked through town, got brunch and Jeff dropped me off at the bus station so I could head back to Dar early. I don’t know how I would’ve handled the bus ride home without knocking myself out with Gravol, there were chickens riding on the bus with us clucking and flapping and smelling real bad!

I got into Dar later that afternoon and Baraka picked me up at the bus station. I was so eager to get home and finally shower but Baraka insisted I stay over at his place for dinner. I showed him the stuff I bought and he spotted the Maasai beads. He shot me a sly grin and asked if I knew what they were for.. I had forgotten he was Maasai. I blushed and quickly put them away and he laughed at me.

We had rice and beans for dinner and after he took me home. As soon as he left I made a beeline for the shower and savoured every cold droplet that came from the tap.


Day 45

Arusha crew comes to Dar!

The other Canadian Cooperants from my training group, stationed in Arusha have flown down to Dar for the week to attend an HIV/AIDS delegates meeting. They are 3 other girls, Andrea, Mary & Madeline also working in HIV/AIDS programming and development. I was the only one assigned to Dar while the other three are together in Arusha so it’s been lonely not having other friends to see and do stuff with. It’s their first visit to Dar so I’ll be showing them around.

We grew close during our pre-departure training in Ottawa and we were each other’s support when we were waiting to leave. They were the first to receive their work permits and visa and have been here since January. I had major issues with my visa and it took forever to have my work permit approved so I was the very last one to depart.

They’re older and more experienced than I am in the world of international development. I was the youngest Cooperant in our group so they’ve been like my big sisters coaching me on how to deal with the issues we’re up against and looking out for me. They’ve also been teaching me bad words and retorts in Swahili for when men are harassing me.. but I don’t think I have the guts to try it out!

They share a house in Arusha but work for different NGO’s. In some ways I’m envious of them cause they have each other to lean on in Arusha. But on the other hand, being alone here in Dar has forced me to become independent and immerse myself with the locals than if I had been stationed with a group.


Day 46

HIV/AIDS delegates meeting in Dar es Salaam

It’s a three-day meeting paid for by CIDA (Canadian International Development Agency) devoted to assessing, monitoring and revamping our HIV/AIDS partner programmes. It’s Ottawa's way of keeping tabs on us and make sure the work we’re doing suits the interest of Canada. In total there were 9 NGO partners represented at the meeting.

The early sessions began with a review of the National Strategy on HIV/AIDS. There are 3 basic pillars through which various issues are addressed and policies are set in place.

1) Reduce Mortality for those already positive
2) Prevention –those who are negative stay negative
3) Eliminate stigma –through education and transmittal literacy

Next we went over current and pressing issues:

Generic ARV’s shipped from India, have been killing people instead of helping them. People have found their CD4 count drops even lower with the use of these particular drugs and they suffer severe side effects including nausea vomiting and migraines so there’s been a big amount of lobbying and advocacy to pull these drugs off the market and pull in other generics.

Nevirapine, a pharma cocktail for pregnant mothers to prevent MTCT (mother to child transmission) is another area of concern. There is still a high percentage that the baby will test HIV+, and when they do they are completely screwed if their mother has been on this drug because they develop a resistance to ARV’s and will be lucky to see their 2nd birthday.

Babies are safe from infection inside the womb as the virus does not cross the placental barrier and amniotic fluid is safe from infection. The risk of infection occurs during the passage through the birth canal so caesarean births would normally help prevent transmittal. But unlike in North America, caesarean sections here are costly and not as widely performed to prevent the transmittal of infection from mother to child.

Additionally, some mothers don’t even know they’re positive and give birth, and breastfeed not knowing they have passed on the infection to their child until it’s too late. There’s more research in the works for prevention of MTCT including focusing on STI (sexually transmitted infections) prevention as it’s been found STI’s increase risk of HIV.

My very own alma mater, Western, has also contributed to HIV/AIDS research and conducted studies using probiotic bacteria in yogurt and incorporating it into the diet, as another measure for prevention in MTCT.

The first ever annual National testing day is this coming July 14. There will be a series of outreach campaigns and mobile clinics to encourage testing so people are aware of their sero status. Currently the literature reads that over 90% of HIV+ people, are positive, but don’t know it. We’ve been warned that when we’re infield we would have to ‘stage’ testing and have our own blood drawn to encourage others to join us.

The issue of deliberate infection also came up. Unlike in Canada there is no law yet in place in Tanzania for those who deliberately infect their partner.


Day 47

Arrrgh bureaucracy!

The next two days are devoted to meetings with representatives of TACAIDS and the UN. Today’s meetings were primarily spent arguing over words and which way arrows should point on a flow chart. There’s a massive difference between “facilitating” and “mitigating” HIV/AIDS treatment, and don’t even get me started on the difference between “scaling up” and “stepping up” prevention efforts, one will have a completely different connotation from the other.

I know these things are necessary but hate the tedious process where they nit pick at every other word and argue over semantics when in the end the general population will get the basic gist from “scaling up” vs. “stepping up”. And when you’re engaged in discussions with hotshots from the UN or National Commission they seem to be enamoured with the sound of their own voice and drone on endlessly.

It’s a small world after all

During the meeting I met Dennis, another Canadian who’s been living in Dar for the past 5 years. He did his Masters at the Unviersity of Dar es Salaam and has been living in Tanzania ever since. He just signed on as a Cooperant with Friends of Tanzania, an orphanage for children who have lost their parents to HIV/AIDS.

He wasn’t available during my orientation the first week I got here so we only met each other during this week’s meeting. After five years of living here his Swahili is very fluent, and he’s pretty settled into Tanzanian life and doesn’t look like he wants to leave after his contract is up. He’s very well travelled and very well connected and has a contact in almost every major city in every major country in Africa.

It turns out we both did went to Western and he graduated only 2 years before I did!! Weird how we never collided on campus all that time, but should find each other on the other side of the globe working in the same city and country!


Day 48

Is blue still my color?

I’ve aspired to work for the UN WHO or WFP but the more exposure I have to the UN the more I feel I’m not cut out for the cutthroat politics involved. I love working on the front-line with people, but hate the other aspect of the work including the bureaucracy and red tape, which I know is unavoidable. With all the meticulous detail they are caught up in, I can also see how easy it is to lose sight of the actual problem.

Calling all Canadians in Tanzania

I’ve been invited by the embassy to attend a Canada Day party at the Canadian Ambassador’s Residence next weekend. When I got the call and they identified themselves as the Canadian High Commission, I froze, thinking they were delivering bad news. I laughed with relief when all it was, was an invitation to the Canada Day celebration. It will be my first Canada Day away from Canada and I’m looking forward to the night out.


Day 49

Day at the Orphanage

We spent the day surveying two of the partner NGO’s including Friends of Tanzania, and Kiota Women Health and Development Organization. Friends of Tanzania is a newly established orphanage Dennis is working for. They take in orphaned children whose parents have died from HIV/AIDS.

There are about 16 children currently living in the residence, and in total over 30 have gone through and had either placed in a home, or died from AIDS. Half the current children have tested HIV + and 5 of them are on ARVs. Despite their conditions, they were like any other kids, happy and carefree.

I have a soft spot when it comes to children. To be born under circumstances of poverty is already hard as it is. But to be afflicted with a deadly virus ravaging through their veins robbing them at a chance to have a life at all, no matter how impoverish, is like a punch in the stomach.

The Mama’s of the house prepped the kids to perform for us a series of traditional dances they’ve been working on. Those kids got moves! They were shaking their hips like there was no tomorrow. There was a little girl who was particularly clingy to me and had the most beautiful smile. Her name was Mali (like the country), I thought, how apropos, I’ve been there.

I told Dennis I’ll be dropping by often to play with the kids.


Day 50

Arusha crew goes to Kariakoo

The girls wanted to load up on supplies while they’re here cause everything is much more expensive in Arusha so I took them to Kariakoo. The UN office being in Arusha has pushed up the standard of living with all the expats and foreigners living in the city and prices are jacked very high. It costs the equivalent of $15 Cdn for a regular sized bottle of shampoo –that’s 3 times as much as what you’d pay back home! A mango costs 2000/ TZ shillings whereas in Dar it’s 500/.

Andrea was a powerhouse when it came to bartering. She was relentless with the vendors and at one point had them running after her when they succumbed to the price she set, as she turned to stage a walk-away. I’m afraid I’m not as aggressive a bargainer as she.

Arusha v. Dar es Salaam

This week the TZ Canadian crew and I kept debating which was a better placement between Arusha and Dar.

– 1 AR: Being expensive was definitely a hit against them
+ 1 AR: There are more expats from the UN office, foreigners and tourists in Arusha so the locals there are used to the different faces and don’t tend to hassle the foreigners as much as they do here in Dar.
+5 AR: Arusha also has all the national parks and close to all the tourist attractions like Safari, Serengetti, Ngorongoro Crater, Rift Valley, Olduvai Jorge, Volcanoes, Hot air ballooning over Moshi, and of course mount Kilimanjaro.
– 2 AR: But you can only do each of those things once and it gets very expensive since they’ve set the prices for foreigners
+ 2 AR: It’s closer to the boarders of Uganda, Congo, and Kenya if you want a weekend getaway somewhere or travel all over East Africa
+ 1 AR: it’s much cooler and temperate being at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro and they’re going through their cold season, which can drop as low as 5 Celsius at night
– 1 AR: you need to pack a lot of warm clothing and use warm blankets at night
TOTAL ARUSHA = 5

+ 3 DSM: City life in Dar is much better and more to do in terms of night life- more places to eat, hang out and go clubbing
– 1 DSM: No moderate temperatures in Dar, just sweltering heat year round. Even during their “cold season” which we’ve entered right now, it’s still about 30+. I’m loving the heat now but when November rolls around and it’s 40+ every single day, don’t know how much I’ll be enjoying the heat then.
+1 DSM: On the other hand, packing for Dar was lighter and simpler –lots of tank tops, tube tops, sarongs, skirts & shorts. No jeans, or heavy clothing, which would’ve weighed my suitcases down
– 1 DSM: Not as much foreigners here as in Arusha and you get hassled more
+ 1 DSM: Dar is cheaper than Arusha. I’ve gotten by on spending no more than the equivalent of $5 Cdn a day!
+ 1 DAR: We’ve got beaches
+ 1 DAR: We’re closer to Zanzibar if you need a weekend getaway
+ 1 DAR: Dar is Tanzania’s Toronto.. enough said.
TOTAL DAR = 6

<<`DAR WINS!!!`>>

In the short amount of time I’ve been living here so far, Dar has grown on me and everyday I fall more in love with the city. I’m really glad I was assigned here even if I’m out here alone cause it’s given me a different experience altogether and hopefully in the end I’ll come out stronger.


Day 51

Arusha crew returns =(

Said goodbye to the girls before they flew back to Arusha. I had so much fun with them while they were here and really needed the pick-me-up and encouragement from them. They also enjoyed their time here in Dar and we went out every night for food, dancing, drinking and good times all around. Now that they’ve had a taste of Dar, they’ll be coming to visit more often. It’s an 8 hour bus ride/2 hr flight, but they’ve fallen in love with the city just like I did and will be back for more!

Jehova’s a mama!!

Jehova gave birth to a baby girl and is naming her after me!! Well it’s not her first name, but her second name is good enough for me! Welcome Faith Hannah John Mkonye into the world! It’s her first child and everyone’s been excited anticipating its arrival. Baraka, who is thrilled to be an uncle, took me to visit them in their home and we took turns fussing over the baby.

Jehova has had malaria twice during the course of her pregnancy and took malaria meds. It doesn’t appear to have affected the baby but it’s still early to tell. Pregnant women are more vulnerable to malaria than women who aren’t pregnant.

I had brought a bundle of Canadian stuff with me to give away as gifts including flags, buttons and pins that my MP office supplied me with, as well as t-shirts, Frisbees, nerf balls and teddy bears with “Canada” or the maple leaf imprinted on it. I gave a cute little plush teddy bear that had a maple leaf stitched on its tummy, as a gift to the baby. Jehova was delighted to receive it and said it will be a wonderful memory of me when I leave.


Day 52

Vivid Dreams part II

I need to come off Larium. I dreamt a pack of monkeys got through my window and invaded my room. When I woke up and looked out my window, I did a double take when I actually saw a monkey walking along the rail of my balcony. I wasn’t sure if I was delusional from my dream or if I really saw a real monkey. I asked the maid if there are monkeys around here and she said there are a few living in the trees in our yard. Maybe I wasn’t seeing things after all.

I learned from Jeff who’s area of expertise is Malaria, that after prolonged use of Larium, the side effects -particularly vivid dreams, continue to manifest long after you stop taking it…. great.... that’s just great.. so I’ll be off Malaria drugs when I get back home but will still dream of monkey invasions. Lovely.

Cross-cultural learning 101: Flashing somebody

Baraka and I hiked out to Coco Beach together and it was the perfect way to spend a breezy Sunday afternoon. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the ocean view.

When we got back Baraka dropped me off at my front door as usual, then said “Flash me if you want me to call you tonight,” “huh?!!” was he seriously asking me to flash him? “You don’t want me to call?” he asked, “You want me to flash you?” I returned. “Then how will I know to call you?” … hmmm, maybe ‘flash’ means something else… “Ok, how do I flash you?” I asked with caution, “Just ring once and I’ll call you right back!” OOOooooohhhhh, he wants me to flash him… so I did.

I always wondered why people were calling me and hanging up… .. now I know why!


Day 53

I’ve fallen in love with a boy named Pili

A PLHA member of TANOPHA brought a boy named Pili into the office. She was a neighbour who knew his parents, both who have died of AIDS and the other children were divided among the other relatives and this boy was the only one remaining, abandoned in the house.

He was most likely the sickest of the bunch so no one wanted could afford the cost of taking him in. A PLHA herself with children of her own, she couldn’t take him in and asked us to place him in an orphanage that would cover the cost of his care and possibly even education should he get better later on.

He was short, boney, wearing tattered clothing, very small and weak, and looked like he was 5 years old. I learned he was actually closer to 10 years. When she handed him over and turned to leave, he began whimpering, unsure of what was going on and the look of despair in his eyes was heart breaking.

Bruno began making calls to see where we can take the boy. When the Chairman, Mr. Kaaya came he asked what the situation was and without a second thought said he would take the boy in. He is HIV positive himself, married but with no children of his own. He is the founder of TANOPHA and has already taken in 2 other orphaned children, a boy and girl. Pili will be the 3rd child in his care.

Mr. Kaaya had errands to run throughout the day before he could take the boy home with him. I had no field assignments and would be in the office all day so offered to look after the boy in the meantime. I motioned for him to come over to where I was sitting. He gingerly walked over and sat with me. He already felt warm from a lingering fever. I pulled out some scrap paper to do origami, remembering it was a big hit with the kids in Mali. He sat on my lap bright eyed as I transformed paper into a crane, frog and boat.

He seemed to accept whatever his fate was at this point. He was so innocent, trusting and willing to be nurtured and cared for I wish I had the power to shield him and all the other children in his shoes, from the cruel world. Just looking at him there was no doubt he was HIV+ and didn’t look to be in great shape even if he were already taking ARV’s.

As we sat there together I felt so sad and wondered if he would live through the year even under Mr. Kaaya’s care. I learned later that day Mr. Kaaya had to admit him in the hospital because when he brought him home he was too sick even take food. His CD4 count had already dropped below 100 and wasn’t on ARV’s as I suspected.

They put him on cocktails right away and administered enteral feed, but he’s already progressed so far, he’s essentially surpassed the point of AIDS and it will just be a matter of time before what’s left of his immunity will completely deteriorate.

He doesn’t deserve this. It’s just not fair..